"Leave a message. Don't leave a message. No skin off my back."

His Black Friday trip to Ikea had been like any other venture Ronon made to a mainlandish place: full of people staring at him. You can bet the meatball-addled customers loved making way for a seeming giant in leather with bones tied in his hair.

But now, back in his basement apartment, Ronon was standing over a few hundred bits of wood and metal, an allen wrench, and an instruction book, flipped to the Korean pages.

He shook the box, frowning at the picture on the front. "Didn't have so many parts in the store."

[When inspiration strikes, you beat it with a hammer. Open.]

Much as Ronon hated his office for the boredom and the lack of real entertainment now that Princess held his on Tuesdays, he was sitting within, watching out the door, and slamming a tiny rubber ball at the wall to one side of the door.

Hadn't missed yet. It was kind of a pity.

Ronon had spent a couple days in his apartment, watching a marathon on the Food Network and learning about the copious use of butter by some white-haired woman named Paula.

McKay would love her, he just knew it.

When he finally emerged to grab some takeout, Ronon was surprised to see a sofa and coffee table piled in front of his door. He didn't know where they'd come from, but he wasn't turning down free furniture and drug them inside.

It was like someone knew how often he broke his own furniture on accident.

[Establishy as I wrote this days ago and forgot to post it like a doofus!]

"Nope, not a cat." Ronon rolled his eyes as he held the phone away from his ear a bit, leaning way back in his desk chair, feet sticking up on the desk. "Don't got one of those video things."

He paused, listening to the quick snap of the voice on the other end.

"No, don't send it." This didn't seem to please the other party and Ronon held the phone away from his ear not wanting to hear. It probably hadn't been a good idea to E-mail Rodney a copy of the radio podcast with a Told you Sheppard's a bunny subject line.

"You don't wanna see." Another pause. "Uh huh. All over." The questions were starting to annoy. "I gotta go." He didn't really think just wanting to get off the phone would work and that was confirmed by a string of rapid promises to do things to the shower in his room if Ronon didn't share...up until Ronon clicked the phone shut and shoved it in a drawer.

"Damned kid better not end up naked in my office again."

Just the boys for now!

( Ronon, the Satedan )

( John, the Jackass )

( Toby, the ...Special? )

It was the last Saturday of the semester. Don't think Ronon was letting John get away without one final task cleaning up some part of MHA.

"What is that thing?" John asked, poking at the not-quite-vacuum parked on the carpet in the basement apartment.

Ronon shrugged, "Carpet cleaner."

John looked around at the floor beneath his feet, "...What happened to the carpet?"

"Don't ask."

John's face looked to Ronon in a bit of terror, but for this last day of detentional hell before graduation, he was mostly just glad his task didn't involve cleaning the hair out of Ronon's shower drain.

No, he wouldn't be voicing that opinion just now.

[Preplayed with the wonderful me! Establishy as I am AFK for a good while today!]

It was Saturday morning. Time for Ronon's weekly session of staring at Sheppard and wondering how in the hell he was going to manage to become the guy who'd gone to all the trouble of bringing Ronon back from Sateda.

This week, they met in the MHA stairwell where Ronon had buckets of soapy water and a mop.

"Sheppard, what's with the cat?" It wasn't that Ronon cared so much, but this kid was weird enough without carrying animals around on his shoulder.

[For me because I won't let him miss detention.]

Ronon rarely bothered with office hours, but with all the crazy shit happening this week, he didn't want to be around if Loki started busting into song. Not a mental image he was prepared for.

Unfortunately for Ronon, it seemed the gremlin that had struck his next door neighbor had found safe harbor under Ronon's desk and was annoyed by the sudden presence of feet enough to strike once more.

A few minutes later, Nick Lachey was pressed up against the wall where he would swear he could hear Jessica's melodious phone sex voice.

He couldn't help the song spilling from his lips, borne from his deep, deep sorrow.

Cause I want you,
And I feel you,
Crawling underneath my skin
Like a hunger,
Like a burning,
To find a place I've never been
Now I'm broken,
And I'm faded,
I'm half the man I thought I would be:
But you can have what's left of me

He pushed off the wall and headed out the door.

[Establishy!]

Ronon had arranged to meet John at MHA again this week, but this time the kid was expected to do a little extra cleaning that needed done. Sadly, the harpy carcasses had disappeared from around the pool so Ronon was prepping a vacuum cleaner he'd borrowed from somewhere and waiting for his free teen labor to show.

"And I said..." Ronon hated that he shared a wall with someone who listened to crappy music.

The dislike didn't stop his foot from thumping along with the stupid song or the low humming.

He might have to go stab Princess' radio later.

[I wasn't gonna post today, but then I saw that and couldn't help myself! Door and post open!]

His team would think he'd lost his mind, but even Ronon had to admit he looked kind of awesome after all the shaving and waxing and clipping and soaking and masquing the staff at the spa had attacked him with: only his growls had stopped pushy women from cutting of his dreads.

What remained to be seen was whether the torture suffered was worth his prize.

Since leather was involved, Ronon was willing to bet yes.

[For the wearer of the leather]

Ronon stopped in his office for a little while just to hunt and peck over the keyboard, generating an email to his two groups of students.

TO: Movie and PE Students
FROM: Ronon Dex
SUBJECT: CLASS ON 2/13

Notice to all Movie Appreciation and Physical Education students.

This week's classes will be combined and will take place in the Danger Shop during Period 1. BE ON TIME.

Dex

After sending the email, Ronon got to work planning the activity. He thought he was rather funny.

It wasn't Ronon's normal day, but he didn't feel like sticking around his basement where "Jason" had redecorated his living space in a bright, beachy style complete with a table made of shells and a singing bass plaque on the wall. (Note: The plaque was no longer capable of singing due to an unfortunate incident that may or may not have involved Ronon's fist.)

He'd stopped in the cafeteria for some real food after remembering how "Jason" had tossed everything good in favor of fresh fish, tofu, and protein bars. The weekend was one bad memory after another.

So, there was Ronon, feet up on his desk, chair leaned as far back as it could go without snapping off the base while he ate a roast beef sandwich and contemplated just moving into his office and calling the basement a lost cause. Loki could just deal with the sand himself.

[open door, open post!]

His office was cold and dark. This suited Ronon just fine.

He kicked the doorstop in place and lit a bunch of candles around the room, finally settling down on the floor in a nest of hides and down blankets to try that meditating thing Teyla had taught him.

It only looked like sleeping in a cross-legged position. Ignore the snoring.